*wine-inspired thought of the day*

Google does a lot of things.

'Is there anything Google cannot do?' I pondered. Which brings me on to a couple of suggestions to add some more strings to their bow.  

Google will walk your dog while you are at work, down whichever route you specify on Google Maps. It will also search for any poops your mutt makes en-route and put them in the Googlebag.

Feeling tired/want to go out with the lads/wife's a munter? Google will satisfy your other half while you get on with your life. Simply log into your account and select length of session, approximate no. of orgasms per session and preferred methods of stimulation. Google recognises that you are likely to be unsure about the latter, so helpfully provides you with a 'random' option. 
If I actually thought about it I could probably go on all night so I'll leave it there.

Update

Yes, I'm dicking about with my blog layout. I have a lot to learn!

You wait, by 2012 I'll be a Blog Guru. And I'll look back fondly on these days.

Change in the House of Flies

People who know me will be shocked to discover that I got up at half past 6 today. Er yeah, in the morning. And I intend to continue with this now the summer is here (well maybe the summer bit is wishful thinking, it's just lighter). I have a lot to do. It's all very secret, mainly because I don't entirely know where I'm going with it yet. But once my husband returns from his day job, I shall be using my pester power to get the design of my website underway. It will be a beautiful thing.

Time for a few pictures now...

Me in my rather lovely wedding dress, pretending I'm not freezing in gale-force winds.

Surveying my kingdom part-way up Winder in Sedbergh

UV rocks at the Keswick Mining Museum!

Congratulations are in order to my parents, who are celebrating their silver wedding anniversary today. It may also interest you to know that in September, I will reach the age of...25. Hmm.

Recap

Haven't blogged for quite a while now, but worry not, you haven't missed much in my terribly exciting life. At all.

Well I am now Mrs Greenwood, which makes me feel older, but in a good way. The wedding day was possibly one of the windiest days of the year, so I completely and utterly froze my tits off when it came to the photographs. My worries of being pissed before the ceremony were unfounded as I only had time for 2 glasses of wine, and spent from half 8 till half 2 in the afternoon getting ready.

Anyway my purple wedding dress went down a treat, sadly I had to go home and get changed in the evening as by that point id been laced into it all day, forgot to eat much of the wedding breakfast and was on the verge of passing out. Thankfully after changing into something more comfortable I got my second wind, and got pissed as a fart.

The honeymoon was spent up in Sedbergh in a house looking up at Winder fell, which we had a ramble up to the top of one day. It was very relaxing apart from the bits where I had to drive. 

I cannot write anymore as my headache is back. It may be something to do with the half bottle of gin I've drunk tonight. Surely not...