Well would you look at that, it's New Years Eve already. I have been looking forward to this day since January...
Aside from 2006, this has probably been the most challenging year of my life so far. It's been good, bad and fucking awful at times, but I have come through with the man I love, and also a greater sense of who I am, and who I can be. My mindset has definitely changed for the better, and thankfully it's no longer due to shovelling anti-depressants down my gob as I haven't taken any for about 18 months now.
Now (touch wood) we have found somewhere to settle, and will only move when we can buy a house or the family gets too big for a 2 bedroomed flat! Lancaster is ideal - it's classed as a city but is small enough to get away with being a town. I hate big bustling cities, anything bigger than where I live now and I refuse to leave the house. It also has the benefit of being close to the Lakes, and not being Kendal.
Flat is also much easier to keep clean, apart from the cream carpets which do not appreciate Martins black socks pottering over them. Picture on the left shows our little box bedroom, home to my altar, and the guinea piglets.
I'm also becoming a bit of an earth mama. Already obsessed with herbal tea, I now regularly meditate, am learning the Tarot, and have decided that due to their addictive nature, I must start making my own jams & chutneys. I also try and get my food off the market instead of the supermarket.
I am currently musing on the laws of attraction after reading The Secret - tried it with Martin on the trains we got to Manchester, well 2 out of 3 train doors stopped directly in front of us! For me, the law, already backed up with physics, fits in with my beliefs of Wiccan spellwork to channel thoughts and energies into positive results. At the moment I need a helluva lot of this energy to channel into being able to start a family. In our case it will take more than doing it at the right time of the month, and it's still uncertain whether it's even possible for us yet. I know I should be enjoying life now etc. but I still have a wish to become a mother that is so strong, it even surprises me that I would ever feel like this. And it isn't going away.
As for tonight, I'm not sure what we are doing yet, considering I just caught a bug and my head feels like it's going to fall off. Fuck it. It's gonna be a good year.
