Moving On

Well would you look at that, it's New Years Eve already. I have been looking forward to this day since January...

Aside from 2006, this has probably been the most challenging year of my life so far. It's been good, bad and fucking awful at times, but I have come through with the man I love, and also a greater sense of who I am, and who I can be. My mindset has definitely changed for the better, and thankfully it's no longer due to shovelling anti-depressants down my gob as I haven't taken any for about 18 months now.

Now (touch wood) we have found somewhere to settle, and will only move when we can buy a house or the family gets too big for a 2 bedroomed flat! Lancaster is ideal - it's classed as a city but is small enough to get away with being a town. I hate big bustling cities, anything bigger than where I live now and I refuse to leave the house. It also has the benefit of being close to the Lakes, and not being Kendal.

Flat is also much easier to keep clean, apart from the cream carpets which do not appreciate Martins black socks pottering over them. Picture on the left shows our little box bedroom, home to my altar, and the guinea piglets.

I'm also becoming a bit of an earth mama. Already obsessed with herbal tea, I now regularly meditate, am learning the Tarot, and have decided that due to their addictive nature, I must start making my own jams & chutneys. I also try and get my food off the market instead of the supermarket.

I am currently musing on the laws of attraction after reading The Secret - tried it with Martin on the trains we got to Manchester, well 2 out of 3 train doors stopped directly in front of us! For me, the law, already backed up with physics, fits in with my beliefs of Wiccan spellwork to channel thoughts and energies into positive results. At the moment I need a helluva lot of this energy to channel into being able to start a family. In our case it will take more than doing it at the right time of the month, and it's still uncertain whether it's even possible for us yet. I know I should be enjoying life now etc. but I still have a wish to become a mother that is so strong, it even surprises me that I would ever feel like this. And it isn't going away.

As for tonight, I'm not sure what we are doing yet, considering I just caught a bug and my head feels like it's going to fall off. Fuck it. It's gonna be a good year.

ADS (Autumnal Dysfunction Syndrome)

I am suffering with ADS. I do so every year, it kicks in 5 days before the clocks go back. I made it up.

So I haven't posted any ramblings recently. To be fair I have been fairly busy, with going to work 9(30) till' 5(30) (DOWN WITH THE SYSTEM!!!), getting angry with the damp/lack of hot water/Satanrabbit/melting heaters, planning my wedding, and attempting to write.

On the writing front, I have FINALLY submitted my first article (don't hold your breath...), and am well on the way to giving birth to 2 more. My first 'success' saw me earn 25 pounds for a picture of Trent with the plastic top off a Cornetto on his head being published. I am now hoping Trent becomes a cash cow when it comes to the woman's weeklies.

The sudden surge in writing has obviously been achieved by the fact my dream has now become possible. Yes, I can sit in Starbucks on my Macbook now, because a) Starbucks has now opened in Lancaster, and b) I forgot we earn sod all and bought a Macbook. This was only because last year I was extremly foolish and bought an Acer laptop...with Windows Vista on it!! So of course it's now dead.

The only problem with this is that once you've had Mac, you'll never go back. Which means I get very grumpy at work when I have to use Windows. Ugh. There is nothing better than typing away on my Macbook on a Sunday afternoon being not quite sure of the new time because of DST and a large glass of red wine.

On the wedding front, I've still got a fair bit to do but am having a rest period. Groomzilla is doing the invites and getting flustered. Dress is bought - v. dark purple and clingy as hell (in a good way), but I cant afford to put on ANY weight. I just need to keep the wine bump in check and I'll be fine. We are having pagan handfasting rings instead of boring gold bands since I am a super-dooper witch (and we cant have the actual handfasting ceremony - my evangelical mother would almost certainly refuse to come)!

Nuggets

I am very excited. Not because I have just got a job in the centre of Lancaster (although I am looking forward to that), but because I have just been into my parents' attic and found my globe. And it still lights up! I am moving in 2 weeks, and I am taking the globe with me. It will have pride of place in my study, er I mean spare bedroom.

I will need to buy a desk for my sudden increase in paraphernalia. The one I am currently spending my days working from is covered in various half-written drafts of articles, pens, lighters, lots of books & magazines, and usually a red wine bottle. I am currently torn between starting a new article, going through my first draft of another, pitching some story ideas some where, or ploughing through all my stuff and re-packing the boxes that have fallen to bits. I have no idea where most of my things are as most of it has been packed away since mid-January.

Since moving back to my parents (note to self - NEVER do this again. Sleep in a shop doorway instead) I have found lots of my belongings I'd totally forgotten about. Such as a crate full of Sylvanian Families, and my badge, gem and stamp collections. I got quite excited about this and Martin said I was a nerd. To punish him I'm taking them with me. They will surface every time I've had too much wine and I think everyone will think they are interesting too.

As well as thinking about writing articles, nearly starting to write articles and talking to the guinea pigs, I have also been drawing a fairy, reading everything and trying to calmly explain to my mother that no, I haven't put weight on because the scales say I am exactly the same as when I got here in May.

I am slowly becoming a writer. At least in the sense that I should probably be in some sort of therapy and I drink too much wine. I'm off to play with my globe.

I am reaching the point...

The Manics sang 'little someone in my own little Guernica'. That's pretty much life at the moment, and I'm the dude sprawled out at the bottom of the picture with the broken arms. I'd much rather be the light bulb , but I think that's supposed to represent God. Maybe I should aim for halfway and aspire to be the horse.

Working Title

Not a particularly good week in the land of Sass. I keep looking above me to check if there's a big black cloud, but living around here the sky is lined with them anyway. As if to add to this, my brain has decided its getting about as much stimulation as a Catholic nun, and keeps getting annoyed when I try to think about everyday life. Apparently there is a large part of the human brain that remains largely unused by the majority, which may be connected to everything psychic and spiritual. I think someones just opened the door in mine, realised the light bulb has blown and is currently off in search of a replacement. Until he returns, I am feeding my over-sensitive head with non-stop Nine Inch Nails and things to write.

I've decided to do this writing course, despite belief from some *cough* that I'll give up on it. The only problem is that it costs a couple of hundred quid, and nobody will employ me, probably because I had so many crappy jobs in the past. Bah. If something actually went right , it would be that I got a part-time job and became a freelance writer too. And found a wodge of banknotes in the carport.

So musically, it's been a very NIN-themed week. However, I can't take it seriously after watching the cartoons at http://www.theninhotline.net/meatpers/html/cartoons.html. They must be funny, cause I actually laughed...

I'm off to drink absinthe in the streets.
S

Do You Even Know What A Wawa Is??

My poison of choice tonight is a rather cheap bottle of California White, and it tastes somewhat like badger piss. Well, how I imagine badger piss tastes. Im getting more of a taste for the red stuff now, but any kind of wine is the petrol in my writing tank. And after the shit that went down this week, I'm going to need a whole lot more refilling.

So for some time now, I've been trying to work out what I'm actually good at. 23 years pass, and my only conclusion is - writing crap. So thats what I'm going to do, just not entirely sure how to go about it yet. So far I have written an article about my guinea pigs for Helium. Well, it's a start...

Anyway, this is my first post, so I better explain my name, Sassmong. According to Urban Dictionary,

'This word is often used to cause confusion amongst a relatively normal sentence or used to signify the end of a sentence.Sassmong is also used as a censor and to give the sentence a double entendre.The use of the word sassmong can be used to compliment or to insult.'

We like. I didnt just use it because it's half my name merged with a word that sums me up, honest.

As you can see by my picture, I am trying to overcome my mental block on glasses, in the hope that if I start wearing them again occasionally, I may become more intellectual. Or at least cancel out the brain cells I kill off with alcohol.

I bought another self-help book yesterday. Nee-naw nee-naw...well I say self-help, but it isn't actually. According to one of those 'ooh, I do/have that' lists, I am a HSP. Hot Sexy Person? Gah, no it's Highly Sensitive Person. So im hoping it either tells me how to stop being one, or tells me that it's a good thing, though I'm failing to see how that is possible.

Has anyone got 5 grand they would like to donate to a very worthy cause??